I guess the same place that restless thoughts are found.
Cryptic? No.. just that I guess ultimately it is really up to you. Suzy gave this example:
2 people have the same job, same basic pay grade, same manager, etc. Yet one loves the job and one does not. What is different? Their environment is mostly the same. Perhaps one is getting the idea they will be promoted and one is getting the idea that they should quit. The funny thing is what came first? Chicken or egg? Is the mental outlook of the 2nd one or 1st one right in this picture? Did the outlook of either individual affect what is happening to them right now? ... at my work I would side with the 2nd person but that is because I am biased. (haha) But I guess it can only be truly found in your own thoughts. (Regardless of what you have to do to get to the point that you can control them - go away, quit, join the military, get married, get divorced, have sex, whatever outlet we have...)
people who are principle centred are more prone to have peace of mind because they know what they believe, what they want, they aren't dragged around by every new moral theory or norm or philosophical bent, or even personal desires or shortcomings... if everything you do makes sense and is relatively deliberate, and matches what you think or feel, you are not likely to feel as much self doubt as you would otherwise. some people even have personal mission statements...
and yes, the ability to enjoy life as it happens 'in the moment' as we have discussed, would play a big part in this.
not always worrying about the future or being haunted by the past. letting go of things from the past that hurt or frighten. letting go of anger because the only person anger hurts is the angry.
one thing i'm learning, and it's a toughie, is being honest with yourself about what you want and your motives.
i guess over all, there are a lot of things that allow or hinder our peace of mind. not a small question you've asked here. but that's you all over.
and it's all about balance too. like I was saying before bout being able to live in the moment... but the other side of that coin is you need to remember that life is built thought by thought and moment by moment, so what you do in any given moment does affect and impact the many that follow. that's about wisdom. wisdom - the knowledge and perspective to guide you - helps us to make good decisions.
but this is supposed to be your thoughts, your opinions. what thinkest thou?
I believe your all correct and all dead wrong in the same breath.
Here is my line in the sand.
No matter how much you make yourself believe the glass is a 1/4 full, its still 3/4 empty. If you choose to be happy with that great more power to you. Nothing wrong with that.
We all want things material and not. We strive for them and this makes us grow. But changing our wants to represent what we have is is a mind game. Not the truth. For if it was, we would not strive and we would not hope. Peace of mind is obtaining what we want, personal or other wise. I think the hardest thing for some people to realize is what they need to make them happy. This is the first step in becoming happy.
Two people may have the same job and the same environment. The only thing that is different in this example is the people. The environment may suite one better then the other. Changing your mind set to be happy will make you happy, but it will not make you, you. For the record I am also in position number two from example.
changing your mind makes you less authentically you?
dude. what is personal growth then? evolution? attaining new perspectives on life, learning when to be proactive rather than reactive, or being able to roll with the punches without having a nervous breakdown?
when I talk about changing my mind or shifting focus, I'm talking about measuring my thoughts/feelings/wants beside my principles or morals or beliefs and if they don't stand up they gotta go. that's about being integrated. about trying to behave with integrity.
lots of people lie to themselves or trick themselves to believe certain things maybe to justify bad decisions, but that's not what I was talking about in my first comments. and I wager that's not what sj & suzy are talking about either.
You have to admit, everyone has a different opinion on what peace of mind is. So to say that peace of mind can be found or attained in a “specific way” is a little flawed. Some people view peace of mind as having everything they want in life so to them, they attain peace of mind by getting the things they want. Some people view peace of mind as being surrounded by the people they love so as long as they have their loved ones with them, they have peace of mind. Some people view peace of mind as being successful, so they strive to be successful. Some people view peace of mind as being close to God, so they live religious lives to have peace of mind…and so on and so forth.
Ever wonder why so many people can’t seem to find peace of mind? It’s because they haven’t figured out yet what gives them peace while some people want everything in order to have peace of mind.
Diogo is right to say that a glass that is ¼ full is still ¾ empty. The question is, are you ok with that? Are you ok with the fact that life will never be perfect, that you will always want something more, and there will always be something that you lack? Are you ok with the fact that life will not always seem fair and that with every success you attain, you will have disappointments?
Personally speaking, peace of mind is being ok with myself – what I have and don’t have in my life – coming to terms with the fact the life will bring me pain together with each happiness that comes along. I may not always have peace, but I will have moments of it and that is enough for now.
I think that most humans strive for the same basic things - they only realise that when they are almost dying, they start focusing on the important parts of life.But in reality I believe deep inside most of us want the same stuff, we just express it differently. Thats why I talk to the elderly so they can explain to me what they have concluded after 80 or 90 yrs of life. For me if they haven't figured it out then how can I say I've figured it out
karen you make some great points. we all have varying attachments to our morals, to material things, to wealth, to people etc., but humans do all have some things in common as suzy said. I don't disagree with the details of what you said. But the keys to a peaceful mind will always be similar no matter who is involved because the human condition is the common denominator.
I like how you define your personal peace of mind. I might say it differently, but it is generally the same for me. you were so right in saying peace is not a constant, it is something we sometimes have to regain. in life we always have to re-integrate new experiences to make it all make sense again, after somethng happens that pulls the rug out from underneath us.
I think we have to define some words here. What does peace and happiness mean? Are they the same or different? When everyone has their own opinions or interpretations of what these words me, no one will agree or come to a consensus.
Sounds like specifics are called for. Perhaps creating a list is the first thing I or perhaps we need to do. God willing, may I find it one day. Here is my list of what I need to have peace of mind. If you wish define yours or simply compare. I wonder how similar or different they will be. If you choose to post, brutal honesty will be required.
Here is mind. -Live up to my ethical code. -Do all that I can to deserve the term friend. -Control my ego, so I can teach my children well -Group of friends that I can count on and vis versa. (Family as well) -Have a wife that truly knows me and still loves me. and vis versa. -Have employment where I can provide a decent home for my family. And where I feel valuable.
I think that about sums mine up. Oh, I do think this would bring happiness even if in the face of obstacles I am not at that point in time happy. Critic, at will. There may be more to learn here
that means you will only have peace of mind at some point at the end of a journey! what about the journey itself??? I should think peace of mind on the journey is so important.
I like your list. it's a good list. I cant think of anything else to make life perfect. but life is not perfect. can you have peace of mind - can you come to terms with the fact that these things are one step at a time? can you handle it if one of those things don't come true? (I mean your ego... that's a big deal. haha j/k.)
say for instance my list was the same as yours. for me, peace of mind would be knowing that I'm taking steps to bring all of my goals into reality. it would be knowing that I have eliminated and am continuing to eliminate obstacles. that I'm enjoying life and maintaining my integrity and sticking to my guns so that everything I want is attainable. so for instance, your circle of friends would bring you emotional security and help in evolving and then someday a wife (god willing) would do the same. wife would probably be supportive of you and help you keep ego in check. this is life. it all revolves and rotates and feeds into itself. for good or ill.
its' funny i forgot to mention the work/career angle since i'm studying to be a career counsellor. hahaha. but that, i am learning is such a huge topic as pertains to peoples' emotional well being. I have already written about 30 pages worth of papers on this topic. and it's the last thing i want to think about on the blogs...
but you made such a crucial distinction there, that you will support your family AND feel valuable.
nothing more to add really, just that I appreciate that point.
it's hard to define terms for everyone I find. Asking a question in 1 language (spoken by all who hear it say) still can mean 25 different things to 25 different people.
Clarity, I am learning is also a talent that I will continue to work on. The never ending chase. Something I never would have thought of before.
As for obtaining my list, the journey is comforting, the more I check off the more peaceful I will be. It will take a while but I don't really think its too much to ask for. When and if I get them I will have true peace of mind. Many things in life can go wrong but those are bumps on the road.
19 Comments:
I guess the same place that restless thoughts are found.
Cryptic? No.. just that I guess ultimately it is really up to you. Suzy gave this example:
2 people have the same job, same basic pay grade, same manager, etc. Yet one loves the job and one does not. What is different? Their environment is mostly the same. Perhaps one is getting the idea they will be promoted and one is getting the idea that they should quit. The funny thing is what came first? Chicken or egg? Is the mental outlook of the 2nd one or 1st one right in this picture? Did the outlook of either individual affect what is happening to them right now? ... at my work I would side with the 2nd person but that is because I am biased. (haha) But I guess it can only be truly found in your own thoughts. (Regardless of what you have to do to get to the point that you can control them - go away, quit, join the military, get married, get divorced, have sex, whatever outlet we have...)
Rambling...but... sense?
it's found where there's no fear, I know that.
people who are principle centred are more prone to have peace of mind because they know what they believe, what they want, they aren't dragged around by every new moral theory or norm or philosophical bent, or even personal desires or shortcomings... if everything you do makes sense and is relatively deliberate, and matches what you think or feel, you are not likely to feel as much self doubt as you would otherwise. some people even have personal mission statements...
and yes, the ability to enjoy life as it happens 'in the moment' as we have discussed, would play a big part in this.
not always worrying about the future or being haunted by the past. letting go of things from the past that hurt or frighten. letting go of anger because the only person anger hurts is the angry.
one thing i'm learning, and it's a toughie, is being honest with yourself about what you want and your motives.
i guess over all, there are a lot of things that allow or hinder our peace of mind. not a small question you've asked here. but that's you all over.
Most of it happens between your ears - for the specific how- we need to sit down and I'll get into it.
and it's all about balance too. like I was saying before bout being able to live in the moment... but the other side of that coin is you need to remember that life is built thought by thought and moment by moment, so what you do in any given moment does affect and impact the many that follow. that's about wisdom. wisdom - the knowledge and perspective to guide you - helps us to make good decisions.
but this is supposed to be your thoughts, your opinions. what thinkest thou?
I believe your all correct and all dead wrong in the same breath.
Here is my line in the sand.
No matter how much you make yourself believe the glass is a 1/4 full, its still 3/4 empty.
If you choose to be happy with that great more power to you.
Nothing wrong with that.
We all want things material and not. We strive for them and this makes us grow. But changing our wants to represent what we have is
is a mind game. Not the truth.
For if it was, we would not strive and we would not hope. Peace of mind is obtaining what we want, personal or other wise. I think the hardest thing for some people to realize is what they need to make them happy. This is the first step in becoming happy.
Two people may have the same job and the same environment. The only thing that is different in this example is the people. The environment may suite one better then the other. Changing your mind set to be happy will make you happy, but it will not make you, you. For the record I am also in position number two from example.
so having stuff gives you peace of mind? bull%*@&
changing your mind makes you less authentically you?
dude. what is personal growth then? evolution? attaining new perspectives on life, learning when to be proactive rather than reactive, or being able to roll with the punches without having a nervous breakdown?
when I talk about changing my mind or shifting focus, I'm talking about measuring my thoughts/feelings/wants beside my principles or morals or beliefs and if they don't stand up they gotta go. that's about being integrated. about trying to behave with integrity.
lots of people lie to themselves or trick themselves to believe certain things maybe to justify bad decisions, but that's not what I was talking about in my first comments. and I wager that's not what sj & suzy are talking about either.
You have to admit, everyone has a different opinion on what peace of mind is. So to say that peace of mind can be found or attained in a “specific way” is a little flawed. Some people view peace of mind as having everything they want in life so to them, they attain peace of mind by getting the things they want. Some people view peace of mind as being surrounded by the people they love so as long as they have their loved ones with them, they have peace of mind. Some people view peace of mind as being successful, so they strive to be successful. Some people view peace of mind as being close to God, so they live religious lives to have peace of mind…and so on and so forth.
Ever wonder why so many people can’t seem to find peace of mind? It’s because they haven’t figured out yet what gives them peace while some people want everything in order to have peace of mind.
Diogo is right to say that a glass that is ¼ full is still ¾ empty. The question is, are you ok with that? Are you ok with the fact that life will never be perfect, that you will always want something more, and there will always be something that you lack? Are you ok with the fact that life will not always seem fair and that with every success you attain, you will have disappointments?
Personally speaking, peace of mind is being ok with myself – what I have and don’t have in my life – coming to terms with the fact the life will bring me pain together with each happiness that comes along. I may not always have peace, but I will have moments of it and that is enough for now.
WOW, well said Karen.. well said
I think that most humans strive for the same basic things - they only realise that when they are almost dying, they start focusing on the important parts of life.But in reality I believe deep inside most of us want the same stuff, we just express it differently. Thats why I talk to the elderly so they can explain to me what they have concluded after 80 or 90 yrs of life. For me if they haven't figured it out then how can I say I've figured it out
karen you make some great points. we all have varying attachments to our morals, to material things, to wealth, to people etc., but humans do all have some things in common as suzy said. I don't disagree with the details of what you said. But the keys to a peaceful mind will always be similar no matter who is involved because the human condition is the common denominator.
I like how you define your personal peace of mind. I might say it differently, but it is generally the same for me. you were so right in saying peace is not a constant, it is something we sometimes have to regain. in life we always have to re-integrate new experiences to make it all make sense again, after somethng happens that pulls the rug out from underneath us.
Outside on a warm sunny day lying on a bed of soft, green grass staring into the sky above drifting away....
I think we have to define some words here. What does peace and happiness mean? Are they the same or different? When everyone has their own opinions or interpretations of what these words me, no one will agree or come to a consensus.
anon, you are correct.
i for one do not equate peace of mind with happiness. they can coexist but having one does not mean the other is a given.
Sounds like specifics are called for. Perhaps creating a list is the first thing I or perhaps we need to do. God willing, may I find it one day. Here is my list of what I need to have peace of mind. If you wish define yours or simply compare. I wonder how similar or different they will be.
If you choose to post, brutal honesty will be required.
Here is mind.
-Live up to my ethical code.
-Do all that I can to deserve the
term friend.
-Control my ego, so I can teach my
children well
-Group of friends that I can count
on and vis versa. (Family as well)
-Have a wife that truly knows me
and still loves me. and vis versa.
-Have employment where I can provide a decent home for my family. And where I feel valuable.
I think that about sums mine up. Oh, I do think this would bring happiness even if in the face of obstacles I am not at that point in time happy.
Critic, at will. There may be more to learn here
that means you will only have peace of mind at some point at the end of a journey! what about the journey itself??? I should think peace of mind on the journey is so important.
I like your list. it's a good list. I cant think of anything else to make life perfect. but life is not perfect. can you have peace of mind - can you come to terms with the fact that these things are one step at a time? can you handle it if one of those things don't come true? (I mean your ego... that's a big deal. haha j/k.)
say for instance my list was the same as yours. for me, peace of mind would be knowing that I'm taking steps to bring all of my goals into reality. it would be knowing that I have eliminated and am continuing to eliminate obstacles. that I'm enjoying life and maintaining my integrity and sticking to my guns so that everything I want is attainable. so for instance, your circle of friends would bring you emotional security and help in evolving and then someday a wife (god willing) would do the same. wife would probably be supportive of you and help you keep ego in check. this is life. it all revolves and rotates and feeds into itself. for good or ill.
always more to learn.
its' funny i forgot to mention the work/career angle since i'm studying to be a career counsellor. hahaha. but that, i am learning is such a huge topic as pertains to peoples' emotional well being. I have already written about 30 pages worth of papers on this topic. and it's the last thing i want to think about on the blogs...
but you made such a crucial distinction there, that you will support your family AND feel valuable.
nothing more to add really, just that I appreciate that point.
it's hard to define terms for everyone I find. Asking a question in 1 language (spoken by all who hear it say) still can mean 25 different things to 25 different people.
Clarity, I am learning is also a talent that I will continue to work on.
The never ending chase.
Something I never would have thought of before.
As for obtaining my list, the journey is comforting, the more I check off the more peaceful I will be. It will take a while but I don't really think its too much to ask for. When and if I get them I will have true peace of mind.
Many things in life can go wrong but those are bumps on the road.
what peace of mind may mean to someone, happiness may mean another
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